I’m excited because I’m going to be a grandfather for the first time but I live at the other side of the country, how can I be a good grandparent?

Nowadays, it is not uncommon for grandparents to live some distance away from their grandchildren, but this does not mean it isn’t possible to be a ‘good’ grandparent. If your son/daughter is agreeable, you could arrange to visit for a time after the baby is born. Help is often welcomed at this time as new parents are usually tired and overwhelmed after the arrival of their first baby. Undertaking tasks such as cooking and tidying and making tea for the inevitable stream of visitors is really helpful as it allows the parents to concentrate on their new baby. Taking the baby out for a walk is also great as it gives the parents time to catch up on sleep! Being involved in this way can help get your relationship with your new grandchild off to a good start.

As the baby grows up, you should be able to continue with regular visits if that suits you all. However, once a baby reaches around eight months old, he/she may start to take a little while to ‘accept’ you – babies around this age often become very wary of those they do not see very frequently. Just be gentle and allow the baby to come to you in his/her own time. This phase usually lasts until well into the second year, when the child will be able to remember you from one visit to the next. It is around this time that small children often enjoy speaking on the phone, so phone calls between visits will probably be welcomed. You may also like to write to your grandchild, perhaps sending interesting pictures or postcards according to their current interests – you may find that you receive some ‘works of art’ in the post in return!

Communication between you and your grandchild’s parents is vital if you want to be an involved grandparent, so you can find out about your grandchild’s development, interests and likes/dislikes. You will also need to make sure that they are happy with whatever degree of involvement you have/wish to have with their child’s life!